Mega Update

It's been a while. And I know that all of you who read this (like 2 of you, maybe) are dying to know what the hell has been going on in my life. Well I'll give you a quick rundown.

So far, this entire school year (I will forever think in school years) has been the total opposite of last year. I'm content with my life. Are there flaws, problems, and issues? Of course, but as I sit here right now, things are going fairly well. I really enjoy my job, which was not the case last year. I love the school, the principal, the staff, and the fact that I get to work with people my age (well they're student teachers, though I'm not) in the classroom is great. For a while, the teacher I'm assisting didn't like me, but she got used to me and has had me sub for her twice (including today) and she has really opened up to me. I also have enjoyed working only in the mornings, though the pay sucks...actually the pay is good, but working 3.5 hours a day makes my paycheck suck. It stinks that I have to quit my job at the end of the year, but maybe I'll be able to find a real teaching position there when I get certified. Speaking of which, school is going pretty good. As long as I don't fail my Practicum seminar (I sort of fucked up by missing a class, so I have to do an alternate project) I will be student teaching in the fall. Where? I have no fucking clue, but I'm hoping it's in Livingston, making my commute almost non-existent. I'm really starting to enjoy being in the classroom and working in a school. I know I haven't even experienced half of the shit that teachers have to go through, but at least I'm getting a sense of how to function within a school. But all in all, I have a game plan and it seems to be going well....so far.

For the summer I'm going to be working at my old sleep away camp, Appel Farm. It's a small arts and music camp down in South Jersey, that's literally on the farm. But it's a fantastic environment for those that love the arts, and I had a blast four the 4 summers I was there. The pay will be crap, and there's no tipping allowed, but the overall social environment should make up for it. Am I gonna be happy about sleeping in non-air conditioned bunks in the middle of the summer in South Jersey? No. Am I gonna be happy about the fact that there are shit load of thunderstorms down there? NO. But I will survive, and hopefully have a blast. I'll be teaching drums and will hopefully be a bunk counselor. I'm seriously stoked about this and really can't wait for it to start.

Speaking of music, I don't remember being this busy in a long, long time. My "new" band, The All New Cheap Moves has been playing a lot and writing new material. We're hoping to get a new demo out so when I get back from camp we can play a lot. I'm having a blast because I get to really rock out and the band functions as a democracy, where 2/3 wins the vote (there's only 3 of us). The only issue I'm having is realizing that I'm really not that great of a singer, and as much as I like to sing, I know that I should only do so on certain songs. It sucks, but I should be worrying about keeping the beat going. As for my other band, Zanzibar Scuf, we are playing a party at Columbia University this Friday, and are scheduled to play two weddings in the next few months. We've essentially turned into a cover band, though if offered a good gig to play originals, we probably wouldn't turn it down. I'm having fun with it, though I sort of wish we could record another record and make it really, really, really good. We are a really good band, and I know we had the potential to go somewhere, but it never came to be. I've also been asked by a former bandmate of mine from back in Jr High to drum with his band. We practiced once, but I don't know if it's gonna work out since he wants to do a gig in Boston and NYC, and my schedule is fairly hectic (you'll see what I mean soon enough). I was also asked by a blues guitarist, who I gigged with once, to play with him consistently. I told him I wish I could (he pays well) but since I'm going away in the summer, and have other obligations, I couldn't commit. It sucks, but I have my priorities. Also, I filled in to play drums with my cousin's band, Tall Days, this past Friday when the drummer got sick. It was me, my cousin, and my brother, and I had a blast (my bro plays bass with them sometimes, tho they are technically a duo ala The Black Keys). We played for like 7 people in Brooklyn, but it was great anyway. In addition to all of this, I took a drum lesson with one of my idols, Billy Martin from Medeski Martin & Wood. He cost a shitload, but it was a great experience and he's a great guy. I'm probably gonna take one more lesson before I go to camp because I really liked the way he taught. But yea, musically my life is the antithesis of where it was last year.

Now for the subject that was the main topic of most of my previous posts: my social life. Boy has that changed, or at least my outlook on it has changed. I've gotten used to the fact that I don't have a lot of good friends in the area, but more and more of them are popping up. I've also realized that it's a plus to have friends in NYC, because it gives me an excuse to go there and just hang out and get away from my house, as well as having people to go to shows with me. But I think, overall, I've just gotten used to what my situation here is. It's not college. It will never be college. And, while it sucks balls sometimes, it's also nice to have ME time. I get to do what I want to do. Granted I do get bored, but really, I'm not doing much more than I did when I was in college. The only differences are: 1. I live at home with my mom and not with 2 of my best friends and a random dude in a tiny apartment; 2. I don't have a girlfriend who I see every day that got me out of my place a lot; 3. I don't have to spend a ton of money on food; 4. I'm not going out every weekend, spending money on liquor. They may seem like big differences, cause they are, but other than that, I still play my PS2 when I'm bored, I still talk on AIM all the time, and I still don't socialize with my friends as much as I should/could. So yea, I'm content with where I'm at. Do I want to get out of my house? Yea, I do, but I know that I can't afford it now, so I'm prepared to be here for at least another year. But, really, I do get to hang out with my friends, and I know that they want to hang out with me, but like me, they're just busy and/or forgetful. So yea, I'm not depressed, at least not very often.

As for my love life, well, let's just say there's been improvement. No girlfriend to speak of, but I've hooked up with a few girls, and have been casually seeing one for a few months, though it seems as though that's on it's way out. Now why am I casually dating this girl and not committing to a relationship, even though I bitched and moaned about not having one for months on end? Well there are several reasons. First, she lives out on Long Island, and while it's really not that far, it's still not close, especially when you have to go through NYC or have to meet in NYC. It's just not ideal for a full-blown relationship, and really not conducive for what I have now, but I make due. Second, while I like the girl, and she has a lot in common with me (I mean how many Jewish girls are into Bio-Anthropology/Primatology?) there just isn't that "something" that I've felt before. I think there are a lot of reasons for it, but I can't really pinpoint them. Third, I have no time/money to afford for a full-blown relationship. I'm busy and I have bills to pay, so that right there puts a damper on a lot. But this situation, along with an incident at a previous Columbia U party I played at, has really gotten my self-esteem back up again. I know that while not every girl is gonna be into me, there a good amount who are. And I know that the best way for something to really click is for me to actually get to know the person and spend time with them. I've met a handful of women online (I met the one girl on JDate) and while some are nice/cute, I haven't been able to CLICK with any of them. It's another reason I'm excited about camp, I'll get to know a lot of people and spend time with them, and maybe, just maybe, something will come my way. But yea, I've just been able to become more aware of who I am and how I function, and that I feel has helped me in my confidence and self-esteem. And hopefully this trend will continue.

In other news, I'm going to be going to 4 weddings in the next 5 months. I'm in one (groomsman), playing at two, and going as guest to another. I'm seriously a little freaked out at the fact I am friends with people who are getting married. I mean, I'm IN a wedding. WTF? I also know a bunch of other couples that have recently got engaged, and it's just freaking me out a bit. It's played on my mind a bit too, like I sit and think about what could have been, though I know that it's fucking stupid to do so, especially since I'm not even close to wanting to commit to something that big. I look at my friends, and I wonder if most of them are doing this because they THINK it's the right time (it does seem to be a trend) or they are truly ready for it. I mean if you've been together for like 7 years (like my good friend) then I understand, but still, it's a bit freaky. The only really bad thing is that all of these engagements have made me wonder if I'll ever get to that point....again a really stupid thought, but it happens.

In other, other news, my previous entry was in reaction to my mother telling me that I wasn't being very open to her boyfriend, who has been an issue for me for a while. I really am not a huge fan of the guy and not a fan of the fact that he's not Jewish, but I've gotten to know him and he helped me out when I got a ticket (he's a lawyer). Most importantly, however, he makes my mom happy. I know that my dad will never be replaced in any of my family members' hearts and minds (or at least I would hope), but I understand that people need to move on or they'll end up like my grandmother who has been depressed ever since my grandfather died 3.5 years ago. It's life and you just have to deal with it.

So to conclude, I'm happy...well at least content...with where I am right now. Of course that could change tomorrow, though I doubt it. Hopefully this will continue and things will just get better. I've lived through one of the darkest periods of my life and come out a stronger individual. Hopefully next time I decide to post, it will be something similar to this. I apologize for not commenting on other issues (i.e. sports, long lost friends returning) but I'm tired, and I babbled enough for one post.

Later.