Take a deep breath

It's amazing how more or less everything my cousin told me was gonna happen, has. I'm trying my best to not worry about all the stuff (or lack of) that's happening, and just push through. I mean it's hard to that when you really have nothing to look forward to. I mean I do have a new job that I'm starting on Monday, but while I'm excited about it, I'm not EXCITED about it. But at least I have a job, even if it does pay 1/3 as much as my previous job. I just wish that I stuff to keep me busy, or people to keep me busy. I mean I just want to go out and do stuff with people. I don't even care what. Like last night I went to my cousin's place at Rutgers, and all we did was sit around, drink, listent to music, talk, then go to a bar for like 30 mins and then came back, and I was happy as could be. I mean I just want to do things. Like, it could literally be anything, and as long as I'm with someone I like hanging out with, it's great. But seriously, I haven't been to the movies in months, I've gone out with my friends for dinner very rarely, and it's just been, well not the greatest time. Definitely a huge dropoff from college socially, and emotionally. Really, the one thing I totally want is just to go out on a date or something similar to a date, but of course that requires finding someone of the opposite sex to do that, and well for me, that seems to be impossible. But I mean I'm in the Bermuda Triangle of dating, cause I'm 22 and a recent college grad, so almost zero women my age would have a vested interest in me, because I'm nowhere near established and superficially I seem like a horrible catch, when in reality I know I offer a lot more than most guys out there, even though I'm not making 6 figures. Oh well, I'll be able to get through this shit. Just gotta push through, take shit as it comes. Enjoy the little things. Like my 3-disc Black Crowes CD I just got in the mail and the free tix to their New Year's Eve show!!! :-D

I just have to keep on keepin on.