Oh what a feeling....

It's such a great feeling to be rejected. It really is.
What?
You say I'm being sarcastic?
Well I guess you got me there.

I think I just need to stop think positively about everything. I need to stop thinking about the future in a good light, cause nothing I ever think/daydream about ever happens. You think you meet someone perfect for you, and then their ex-boyfriend has to come back into the picture. Oh, and you're too aggressive about meeting each other. But you're only doing it because you just want to meet up with them, and since both of you are busy during the week and live across the Hudson River from each other it can't just be spontaneous, so you have to plan it ahead of time. This girl seriously met any and all requirements that I've ever had for any girl. The only thing that was missing was meeting up. I mean, I really thought this time things would work out. But, maybe it's that I'm so desperate to meet someone that I was having delusional thoughts. I don't know. It just sucks. And when this type of shit happens it compounds all the crap that I've dealt with this year, and just gets me depressed.

Honestly, the only overwhelmingly good thing that's happened to me recently is that I got a new car and it was the one I wanted. Nothing else has been overall that amazing. My life has pretty much sucked lately. It hasn't been horrible, but it's been so dull and unexciting that I just get more and more depressed.

I probably should've just stayed in Maryland, and not come back home. Yea, I know, I don't know if I'd be happy there either, but things aren't that great for me right now.

I'm in need for something big to happen. My life needs a jumpstart, cause it keeps on fucking stalling out.

Fit

So I put a deposit, actually two separate ones, on a new car...well two, but I cancelled (hopefully) one of them since I went between two different dealers to get them to lower their prices, which I was successful in doing (yay being a jew!). I will be a proud new owner of the new Honda Fit in a week or two, whenever the car comes in. I'm excited, yet like I normally do I wonder if I'm making the right decision. I hate second guessing myself, but I do it anyway. This car, however, has everything I want, except it's smaller than what I initially wanted, but it fits all my drums and other stuff, so that's the most important thing.

In other news, I'm in limbo about what I'm doing for the summer since I have two job offers for day camps, but I'm waiting on one camp to let me know about the salary since they just asked if I wanted to do something different that would actually have a higher salary...but might have less tips. I honestly just wish my old sleep away camp, Appel Farm, would just call and tell me that one of the drum counselors doesn't want to do it and then I'd just go there for the summer and be happy. But, whatever, I'll live. Also regarding the summer, I want to go to Oregon, but no one else I know does. This has stalled my planning, and probably means I won't go, unless a miracle happens. A friend of mine suggested I just go alone. I would, but it'd be UBER expensive and I don't want to do a ton of driving by myself. Plus, I want to share my experiences with someone. Which leads me to....

MY DATING LIFE! No news on that front, which is the problem. Sure there are tons of great resasons to be single, one being I can really do whatever I want without having to make sure I run it by someone. On the other hand, I really miss doing things with someone I want to spend my time with. Which goes back to the Oregon trip. It would be incredibly awesome if I was able to meet someone, and then take a vacation with that person to a place as beautiful as Oregon. I can't even imagine what that feeling's like. To be able to stand there, looking at the beauty of nature, sharing the experience with someone who wants to be there and experience it with you. It's all frustrating cause almost everyone that I meet online lacks that something...that something makes me want to really push to date them. But I know patience is key, and nothing good happens overnight, so I'll just have to sit and wait. Oh well.

On the music front, Scuf had an awesome show at Columbia, but nothing's on the schedule right now, so who knows what's gonna happen. My new project with this kid Chris is still in its infant stages, with us still trying to write songs and find a sound, as well as a guitarist and a vocalist. There's potential there, but it's just tough to jump start things, especially when you lack the ability to write melodies and hooks. I also haven't heard from Dean, who's this blues guitarist I played with a few times. I would love if he called me for a gig, they're really fun, and they pay, which is great. I just need some musical outlet again. I mean, I haven't gotten to the point of where I was in January, but i'm getting antsy again, even though I haven't played my drums in like 2 weeks.

As for everything else in my life, it's whatever. Nothing horrible is happening (at least not at the present time), but nothing amazing is happening either, so really, I don't feel like writing anything.

Basically, I'm still crawling out of my rut, but have just hit a plateau.

I took some pictures

These are some pictures I took today since it was absolutely gorgeous outside.